Many of you may have already heard or read that I had to close down the fibromyalgia – chronic fatigue syndrome support community that I ran for six years. It was about 800 members strong.
While it breaks my heart to give up what I considered my life’s work, I just became too ill to keep up with all that was required. My initial concern was for the members and how they would handle the loss of a support system in their lives. They have been enormously amazing. Many, many have taken the time to write and thank me and reassure me that I am making the right decision by focusing on my own health. With the exception of one member, no one has given me a hard time about closing the community or the loss of the group. The goodwill outpouring has brought tears to my eyes and those of my husband’s more than once.
I don’t know what my life holds next for me. I have several interests and hobbies. Most of you know about them, I just haven’t been able to participate in them in a long time. We have three goats that I would love to get back to playing with, along with our two dogs. I write novels and would love to finish one and get it into publication, at least as an e-book. I took up knitting not all that long ago and then had to drop it. I would like to get back to that.
If my brain ever returns, I would love to read again. I used to be a creative artist with oil paints. I don’t know that is in the cards again. Too many chemicals, but maybe I can figure out another way to work art into my life. And, I always loved to cook if I can get the energy to stand in the kitchen again.
I guess what I am saying is I don’t know where I am headed at this point. I have some guesses and some directions I would like to head. We will see if my body cooperates.
I have long wondered what the stress of working was doing to keep me sick. I have wondered even longer than that what immersing myself in the world of illness all day, every day was doing to keep me ill. I tend to be very suggestible. Was all that illness talk keeping me more ill? This is going to be interesting going forward.